A Preacher's Confession Vol. 2
by Neil Brown
The thing that really disturbs me is the fact
the people won't leave it alone. I know for a fact that people
are discussing my love life and wondering why I'm not dating.
Sister So and So would really compliment him and a good wife.
You think he's... Oh No! He couldn't be, not the reverend! You
think? Rumor has it that Choir Directors are usually. Shocking
isn't it? But I get all of that! Here's what I've dying to tell
church folk: MY LOVE LIFE JUST AIN'T YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!!!!! Let
me talk about your love life or something else terribly private
to you. I mean, is there nothing that you will not talk about?
Everything else I have talked about or preached about. My love
life and my bedroom is just off limits to you. (You will note
the period at the end of the sentence, for it also
metaphorically means period!). I am single. Never been married.
Ain't trying to rush into it either. I know that scares some of
you to know that there is a minister with no wife about town and
all these single good lookin' young ladies! But I also know how
to protect myself. NO ONE can point to, look back on, or drum up
a scandal on me and young ladies with shady behavior.
Don't test me, I know my reputation.
So for those of you who don't know me real well, let me help
you:
I do not date within the congregation. The church is not a candy
store to me. I do not look for different flavors, or new
additions to the existing line. And if, in the event there is a
young lady that catches my eye and peaks my interest, I have
enough sense to speak with my Pastor about it. Because not only
do I understand accountability, but he doesn't need things to
get out of hand either for his own credibility. I'm not jacking
my Pastor up either. So know now, I talk to the pastor first,
that means before I approach the young lady.
It's too easy for dating to affect my ability to minister in my
church or anywhere else when things get “high school”. I'm not
in high school anymore, I graduated. There is not a time that
you will find me alone with a young lady unless I'm on a date.
That does not mean that I'm going to make phone calls for
potential chaperones. I know how to treat a lady. How often I
date, ain't your business! But I will tell you that it is not
often. But that should not matter you, it's not you dating.
CONTINUES BELOW
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Please don't take this to be some angry rant,
it's not. I'm a
preacher, I'm just confessing what most of us won't. I'm not
angry about this, but please, my love life?? Read the Song of
Solomon or catch a soap opera.
What soured me? I got hurt in a very public way, in a very
public relationship that never existed. She thought one thing, I
thought another. I thought I was clear. I wasn't. The result,
embarrassment, hurt feelings, and the loss of a friend. We
speak, but not like we used to. And that pains me. I'm not
saying that I'm the good guy. I don't have to be the hero of the
story. The reality is that once I knew there was a fondness, I
should've acted more proactively to protect myself, to protect
my ministry and to protect her. I didn't do that. I vowed that
it would never happen again.
So that's my confession. I do date, but it ain't your business.
I love you, but it ain't your business. I will pray for you, but
it ain't your business. I want to see you blessed, but it ain't
your business. You can ask, and I may or may not tell you,
because now I know that you understand, it ain't your business.
Neil M. Brown
30 November 2003
holla@neilbrown.org
