My latest useless observation: white evangelists smile, black evangelists scowl. Now, of course, this is not universally true, but the image I see most often projected by white ministers is one of friendship, while the mage I see most of black evangelists is one of authority. White evangelists seem to want to project hope, black evangelists seem to want to project fear. White folk seem to follow white evangelists because they are their friend, black folks tend to follow their leaders because they’re scared of them. I believe neither extreme is correct.

I don’t smile a lot. When I’m smiling, I feel like I’m being disingenuous, like I’m faking it, forcing this smile to my lips because I’m greeting people before or after a worship service, or, worse, because I bumped into somebody at Wal-Mart. I am always bumping into somebody at Wal-Mart. Looking a mess in my old sneakers and worn jeans, here’s somebody an aisle away calling me “Pastor.”

It’s pretty hard to be a regular person when you’re in leadership. People expect you to dress like you’re going to church every moment of every day of every week. Like you mow the grass wearing your preaching robe or, say, sleep in your necktie. And they seem to expect you to be “on” all the time. The big grin, the generous smile. Two full rows of gleaming teeth.

But, seriously, who does that? I don’t think we should be pious and scowling all the time, but I tend to believe the more serious look is probably closer to what Christ was actually like. I know a number of white ministers—fine men, to be sure—who plaster this phony smile on their face whenever they encounter someone. That really twisted Fire Marshal Bill phony grin that causes us to question not only their sincerity but their spirituality.

I really don’t think Jesus plastered a phony grin on His face whenever He met someone. I believe He smiled when He felt like smiling, He frowned when He felt moved to frown, and He scowled when He thought it appropriate to scowl. I believe He was fully God and fully Man, subject to all of our various emotions and eccentricities.

Of the two extremes, I am perhaps bothered more by all that smiling you white folks do. I was at a Christian bookstore yesterday, getting extremely turned off by all that smiling. It just felt fake. I couldn’t trust it. I couldn’t buy any book with some white guy grinning at me. Joel Osteen is probably a good pastor—I don’t know, I’ve not studied him at all—and his new book is probably a good book. There’s really nothing wrong with the photo on the front—a big giant Joel Head—but his constant grinning just puts me off. Maybe that’s who he genuinely is, maybe he learned that in the same class that taught Richard Nixon to plaster his own disingenuous grimace across his face whenever the cameras were on. I can’t say. I won’t question anybody’s authenticity. I’m just tired of the grin. It seems really phony to me.

The 7 steps in Osteen’s new book are:

• Keep pressing forward.


• Be positive towards yourself.


• Develop better relationships.


• Form better habits.


• Embrace the place where you are.


• Develop your inner life.


• Stay passionate about life.

Blogger Loretta Heiden added her idea on what those seven steps should be:

• Die to yourself


• Pick up your cross daily


• Follow Me


• Love not the world


• Trust in the Lord


• Love one another


• Go make disciples

The scowl, on the other hand, feels really manipulative. It reminds me of the worst things about joining a black church, surrendering your own judgment to that of some arrogant, puffed-up pastor topping that list. Pastors who allow themselves to be photographed scowling or sneering are really leading people away from their doors. I have to imagine a man must be really full of himself to allow himself to be photographed with that “I’m The Joint” look on his face.

Pastors are supposed to embody the qualities and personal example of Jesus Christ. Most prominent among them: humility. Jesus was a humble man. A gentle man. He was, by no means, a wimp or a punk, but He was also, by no means, a dictator or a braggart.

Hollywood seems to always want to portray Him as retiring to the point of femininity, Jesus the milquetoast. Clark Kent Jesus. Jesus was a carpenter. He worked with his hands among men who worked with their hands. He had to organize and bargain with tough men who, as tough men do, wanted something for nothing. I sincerely doubt Jesus was a skinny or as wimpy as Hollywood seems to insist He was. I also doubt he had the phony Joel Osteen smile plastered on His face 24/7, or the pious Crefloe Dollar scowl. Somewhere in between is the likely truth.

All of which is to say, it really bugs me when I am forced to walk around with that grin plastered on my face. But, if I just be myself, I get asked, “What’s wrong?” a lot. Most of us are so weak, so brainwashed and so conditioned to expect the stupid grin, that it is difficult to impossible for many of us to accept that I can be perfectly fine without having to smile at you all day every day.

Doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It means I am not a guy who smiles a lot. Doesn’t make me angry or depressed, it’s just the way I’m wired. And, worse, I believe the common image of the big grin on the Christian is a flawed and misleading one, a tool of the enemy to make us think we’re supposed to be grinning all the time. When, in fact, all God has ever asked is for you to be you.