The other mess is Prophetess Juanita Bynum’s attack by her husband, Bishop Thomas Weeks III, in an Atlanta parking lot. First: the word “prophet” is a gender neutral noun, meaning “a person who speaks for God.” You can’t be a “prophetess,” that’s just ignorant stuff us black Church Folk made up. Second: by biblical example, no prophet ever wandered around calling himself a prophet. *Other people* called them a prophet. Spiritual gifts, also, are for a time and a season, God can use whomever He wishes: you may have the gift of prophecy today and never exercise that gift again in your lifetime. After all, the “prophetess” Bynum did not, apparently, foresee being attacked by her husband. You shouldn’t put “prophetess” on your business card. You should just be you, and let others worry abut what to call you. Y’know what people called the Prophet Jeremiah? They called him “Jeremiah.”

Second, Weeks and this “Bishop” nonsense. With all due respect to the Bishops who are friends to this ministry: I warn and caution each of you, every man or woman who calls themselves “bishop,” to examine themselves and regularly review their motives for adopting that title. If you’re a legit overseer of several churches, and you perform some actual role in accordance with some actual body and were called by God, confirmed by that body and accountable to that body and that *body* wants to call you “Bishop,” congratulations. I’m there for you.

If you woke up one day and decided the title “Pastor” simply wasn’t big enough, that you needed to be called “Bishop,” and thus contorted your way through some alchemic logic or plan to start calling yourself “Bishop,” or if you’re simply calling yourself “Bishop” because you have a whole bunch of folk going to your church: be careful.You’re playing games with God.

I can’t say for sure which Mr. Weeks is, but neither he nor his wife pass my sniff test, both coming across with a fair amount of stink on the TV. They both seem terribly full of themselves and terribly invested in Being Important. Bynum, whose humility and grace and powerful preaching impressed the heck out of me five years ago, now comes across as a clown. She is, hands down, the living embodiment of what’s wrong with black church ladies: brassy, know-it-all, and self-absorbed to the point where most any time she is talking, she is talking about herself. Now drowning in heavy pancake makeup, Bynum appears fairly embalmed, and I just can’t receive what she’s saying because I can’t get past her self-absorption.

I don’t know where these two got the million dollars for their wedding, but I’d certainly like to know. I think all of God’s people would like to know. I know, for a fact, that if I were to spend a million dollars on a wedding, along with the party gifts and favors would be a financial disclosure form to prove that million dollars didn’t come from the tithes and offerings of my members or TV viewers. Money you donate to these mega-preachers is a trust. It’s not their money, it’s God’s money. Spending a million dollars—a *million dollars*—on a wedding is a heinous crime against the cross. It is so completely antithetical to anything that is Christian, I have to wonder about you ladies who are still dialing Bynum up every week. How many hungry people could she have fed with that money? How many needy families could she have helped with that million dollars? Instead, she spent it on herself. Look At Me.

It absolutely galls me that you ladies are still tuning her in every week. The *Holy* Spirit could not possibly have inspired this woman to spend a million dollars on a wedding. Her inspiration came from elsewhere, from the seat of her own vanity which is now way, way out of control. It is an anti-biblical and anti-Christ spirit that promotes a matriarchal-led, feminine Christianity. Now, wait, I’m no caveman—I in no way wish to diminish the role of women within the church. I don’t believe God inspires us to oppress and eliminate women, either. But Bynum’s Christianity is oppressive and hostile to men. It is insufferably feminine in an unhealthy way that denies any sense of balance between men and women and regularly regulates men to a supporting role rather than a dominant one, treating them almost like pets or nuisances to be tolerated.

This imbalance is not in any way God’s plan. It is an over-reaction to the patriarchal tenor of the Bible, and to conservatives’ insistence on achieving precisely the same imbalance in reverse—regulating the women to supporting roles and treating them like pets. Neither extreme honors God, but the patriarchal view—which I do not entirely share—is at least more in step with the scriptures. The passive-aggressively hostile femininity of Bynum’s ministry has the look and taste of witchcraft. Witchcraft is, simply, a rebellion against God. To me, her ministry looks like witchcraft, it tastes like witchcraft, because it’s tone is so radically out of step with God’s written word. The subtext to much of her ministry is the subjugation and domestication of the male, the instruction and preparation of the female to “handle” him and “deal with him.”

Nationally syndicated columnist, Rev. Jesse L. Peterson, suggests the spousal abuse may have gone both ways:

“There can be only one possible reason why [the Juanita Bynum-Thomas Weeks] marriage ended the way it did. Neither Bishop Weeks III nor Juanita Bynum are ‘born again,’ and God did not call them to be his ministers. I submit to you that there's no way a man of God would beat his wife, as Weeks is alleged to have done. And if Juanita were truly a woman of God, she would not use her marital problems for personal gain – or use the media to destroy her husband.

“Ever since the original corruption of the first woman in the Garden of Eden by the serpent – and man's failure to resist or correct her – that same malevolent spirit has been destroying the relationship between men and women. (And to this day, men continue to perpetuate women's contempt for them by being weak, selfish and angry.)

“In many black churches, the message of Christ is being feminized. This is why Juanita Bynum, T.D. Jakes and others who cater to women have become so popular. Yet, it's abnormal for a woman to be the head of her husband or the church. The spiritual order of God is: God in Christ, Christ in man, man over woman, and woman over children.

“Christians need to search their hearts about what it really means to be 'born again.' Only then will they be able to reject false preachers and resist the forces that seek to destroy God's order, and the bond between man and woman."

The part about our black Christian tradition that irritates me most: us making excuses for people like Bynum and Weeks. I don’t know what that fight was about, and I don’t really want to know except that their high visibility demands high accountability. They can bore us all to death with their vain, ridiculous wedding televised on what is supposed to be a religious broadcast. But they’re mum on details of why that marriage failed.

The overwhelming majority of these mega-preachers simply make me sick. You guys, out there, supporting them and running to see them and all that mess makes me rather nauseous as well. I plead with you, beg you: support your local churches. Support that church on the corner and build something real and legit with your home church. Stop throwing your money away with these shameless snake oil salesmen and salesmenesses and all their baldly unscriptural, un-Christ like nonsense.

I am always saddened to see couples break up. I certainly wish The Prophetess and The Bishop would seek God to work things out between them. But Bynum, at a recent press conference, seemed insufferably full of herself, giving up no insight as to what provoked the beating, while talking—endlessly—about herself and how she’s just gonna press on. And don’t get me started with Paula and Randy White, who’ve recently announced they are divorcing. White’s stellar trajectory is similar to Bynum’s, White’s powerful and dynamic preaching now becoming shrill and insincere as, like Bynum, the evangelist just seems awfully full of herself now that she’s absolutely flush with cash and a private jet and homes all over the place.

It’s enough to make me wonder if God actually can use any of us in a powerful way without our becoming snobs, lost in our own pride and reaching for more money, more fame, more power, BIG TITLES!!!

If we knew our word, if we actually read it once in awhile, we’d remember Jesus never had a title. People just called Him “Jesus.”